


Body Swap 2.0

by stilestlinski (derheck)



Category: Shugo Chara!
Genre: Body Swap, Crack, F/M, Gen, Humor, i'm so sorry y'all, irregular updates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2018-08-07 14:44:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7718839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derheck/pseuds/stilestlinski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rima and Nagi switch bodies and chaos ensues, or something like that.</p>
<p>Rewrite of Body Swap (Shugo Chara! fanfiction from 2010, originally on FFN)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Body Swap](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/220264) by blueberrymuffinsandtea. 



> this was originally on ffn (the original and the rewrite but ffn isn't letting me log on so it'll be continued here i guess)
> 
> this is the fic that started it all TM
> 
> link to original (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5278575/1/Body-Swap it's literally the worst thing i've ever created)  
> link to rewrite (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11644245/1/Body-Swap-2-point-0)

The bickering could be heard even before entering the room, the couple’s voices ringing down the hall (very much in that cliched anime style). “You cross dressing piece of shit, get away from me! Don’t come near me again, don’t talk to me…” Rima trailed off, unable to continue her train of thought, probably due to being so consumed by hatred.

“First of all, the gender binary is a shitty social construct, meaning that stupid stuff gets gendered, like clothing. I’m not even cross dressing, honestly, I just occasionally wear clothes society says only girls should wear, and that’s to honor a family tradition. Anyway, what the hell did I do now?” Nagihiko asked. She remained silent. Not because she didn’t want to talk to him, but because she had forgotten.

“You forgot, didn’t you?” he asked, in a quite neutral tone she took as being haughty and mocking.

“Fuck off. I told you not to talk to me,” she said, glaring at him.

“Are we interrupting something?” Yaya asked the pair, walking into the room. The rest of the (ex) guardians stared at the two with raised eyebrows. “Like a lover’s quarrel?” Of course, Rima didn’t answer, just gave her a trademark glare (one clearly saying “shut up before I kill you or torture you in a horrible way”), causing Yaya to character change and cry.

Tadase and Amu, both amused, began to laugh. Rima turned her glare on Tadase, sparing Amu (whom she loved and therefore was willing to overlook such disrespect. Also because it probably wouldn’t work).

“So… Rima,” Amu said, trying to change the subject and evade any conflict, “my parents said I could have a friend over on Saturday. Do you think you can come over?” (She apparently didn’t realize how shitty it was to invite only one friend over in front of an entire group, but she is a kid, so c'est la vie.)

“I’ll ask my parents,” Rima answered, looking at her manicured nails like those Cool Girls™ in movies.

“You know, Rima, it is okay for you to show emotions,” Nagi piped up, ever the masochist and in need of more arguing. He probably got off on it.

“Oh my God,” Rima groaned, rolling her eyes and facing him. “Literally shut the hell up before I kick your scrawny ass, Fujisaki.” She was like a Pomeranian, tiny and angry.

“Are you sure you could even reach?” Nagi taunted. “Then again, I’m sure you’d just order a fanboy to do it for you.”

“You’re right. No need for me to waste my time on something so insignificant.”

“Nice to know things don’t change, no matter the years that go by,” Kuukai said, now joining the group. “Here you guys are, having graduated not only elementary school but also middle school, and we still haven’t matured.” He shook his head, acting disappointed and pretending he didn’t live for the drama now that his favorite soap had been cancelled.

“Eyyyy, Kuukai!” Yaya greeted, hugging him.

“He started it,” Rima pouted, her eyes tearing up. She added a small sniff for effect.

Nagi rolled his eyes. “She’s faking it again,” he sang.

Instantly, her tears disappeared and were replaced with a Glare™.

Kuukai laughed. “Damn guys, it’s a wonder the sexual tension hasn’t gotten to you yet. It’ll happen soon enough,” he said, shrugging. The others laughed, minus Rima and Nagi, who were blushing and scowling.

“Whatever, I’m leaving,” Rima said. “Y'all are boring.”

“Awwww, we embarrassed her,” Nagi teased, behind her. Fortunately for him, Rima had already left the room and couldn’t go back to flip him off without ruining the dramatic exit. Also fortunately for him, Rima hadn’t even glanced back, so she had no idea that he had stared at her wistfully. The others, however, were able to see and sighed fondly.

“Dude, you’ve got to tell her how you feel,” Kuukai said. Tadase hummed in agreement.

“Bro, you never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot,” Nagi joked. “But seriously, I would if I even thought she at least liked me. The only way I can get her to pay attention to me is by making her angry,” he groaned, dramatically flinging himself onto a desk. He didn’t have much dating experience but he knew that that probably wasn’t the healthiest way to start a romantic relationship. God fucking dammit.

*BeatJumper has joined the Group Chat*

BeatJumper: Anyone on?

*Cool-N-Spicy has joined the Group Chat*

*CutiePie123 has joined the Group Chat*

CutiePie123: YAS BITCH r we all here?

Cool-N-Spicy: nah rima’s missing

*balabalance has joined the Group Chat*

balabalance: hello all ur queen has arrived

BeatJumper: Oh shit is Nicki Minaj in the group chat?

balabalance: fuck off. y is he here :\

BeatJumper: Well you see, my dear Rima, I am also in your history class. And we are supposed to be studying for the test tomorrow

balabalance: ew you would u nerd

CutiePie123: lmao y'all get a room

Cool-N-Spicy: tbh. but lol yaya rima will probs try to kill u if u embarrass her again

balabalance: damn right

BeatJumper: RT^

balabalance: i have u blocked on twitter :\\\

BeatJumper: damn really? i haven’t even tried to follow u so i wouldn’t know. anyway i meant amu’s comment

Cool-N-Spicy: okay but can we study pls. u guys know i suck at history

CutiePie123: yeah sure let’s go

Cool-N-Spicy: k what did you guys get for #2-5 on the study guide?

CutiePie123: wait hold on- amu ask ur parents if u can have friends over saturday. i found some cool experiments i want to try  
now we can start

Cool-N-Spicy: i will, but u know if i don’t pass this test i will be grounded and won’t be able to have anyone over for weeks :-)

CutiePie123: well then rima and nagi will do whatever it takes to have u(s) pass (bc u know i’m also shit at history xx) ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh worm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> due to the massive flow of demands for me to update... i did   
> (ily laur)

“Hey, what the fuck?” Rima asked, taking in the sight before her.  It was Saturday and she had shown up to Amu’s house fashionably late, as one does.  Mrs. Hinamori had opened the door and cheerfully greeted her, telling her she could see her way up to Amu’s room, where a fun surprise was waiting for her.  

She wasn’t sure she’d define Nagihiko tied to a chair inside a red circle in the middle of Amu’s room as a fun surprise, though.  His hands were free and he was scrolling through his phone, so he was fine. 

Probably. 

“Ah, Rima!  You’re just in time!” Yaya cheered.  “We needed you to help us finish the experiment.”  

“Yaya,” Rima said slowly.  “By experiment do you by chance mean human sacrifice?”  

“No, that was a good while ago,” Amu told her.  

Rima eyed the red circle on the carpet, instantly kinning that one Tumblr reaction image where the lady is nervously laughing and saying what the fuck.  

“I was kidding,” Amu said, unsure of whether or not she should be offended that her best friend genuinely believed she was capable of murder.  

“Right.” Rima nodded.  “Well, I gotta go-” 

“Don’t be silly, Rima!” Yaya, said.  “Don’t you wanna have a nice little sit there? Beside Nagi?” She gestured at a beautiful chair (that she  _ had _ noticed but not really paid attention to), which resembled a throne.  

Fuck, that was tempting. 

Amu, upon sensing her hesitance, pulled out a volume of her favorite comedy manga.  “Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?” 

_ Fuck _ . 

Glaring, she walked over to her throne, delicately stepping over the maybe blood, and took a seat.  

“Wonderful,” Yaya said, rubbing her hands together and smiling somewhat maniacally.  Rima would have been scared, but she was busy flipping through Amu’s bribe. “Is it okay if we tie you up, Rima?” she asked.  “Consent is very important.” 

That explained Nagihiko’s freed hands. 

“Go for it,” Rima shrugged.  

She didn’t expect for Yaya to use the same rope she’d used for Nagihiko, but she really didn’t know what the hell was going on anyway, so who was she to judge. 

“Yaya, what kind of experiment is this anyway?” Nagihiko asked as she tied the rope in a nice little bow. 

“Oh you know,” both Yaya and Amu replied, in unison.  

“I.. I really don’t,” he said.  

“Gotta prove the ghostbusters wrong,” Yaya shrugged.  “Gonna see if I can make you swap bodies.” 

“I’m… how are those two even related to one another?” Nagihiko asked, incredulous. 

“Oh, you know,” Yaya shrugged, pulling candles out of her pockets and placing them around the circle.  

“This is definitely some sort of satanic ritual, isn’t it?” Rima mused. 

Nagihiko shrugged and made an I don’t know noise. “If it’s reassuring, I don’t think that’s blood on Amu’s carpet,” he said, before going on a small explanation on the differences between blood and paint.  

“Hm, well I’m more worried by the fact that you apparently know too many things about blood, honestly,” Rima said.  

Nagihiko shrugged again.  “Family tradition.”

Before Rima could ask if his family tradition was serial murder, Amu began playing a YouTube video of Gregorian monks singing Boulevard of Broken Dreams and Yaya began chanting.  

“I’m going down, down, baby, your street in a Range Rover,”  Yaya intoned, throwing her head back and waving her hands. “Street sweeper baby, cocked, ready to let it go.  Shimmy, shimmy cocoa puffs, listen to it pound.” Rima was pretty sure it was cocoa what, but whatever. 

Yaya continued chanting, eventually working her way to the chorus once again, only this time instead of shimmy, shimmy, she began saying switchy, switchy, which Rima definitely knew wasn’t right. 

“Switchy, switchy cocoa yeah, switchy Rima ‘n Nag,” Yaya, continued chanting, placing one hand on each of their heads.  Amu continued playing Gregorian monks chanting. “Now,” Yaya said. “Please state your names, loudly. It’s imperative so that the experiment works.”  Then she whispered, “But only if y’all want, because again, consent.” 

Rima sighed.  It’s not like she had anything better to do this weekend.  And it’s not like a stupid parody of Country Grammar would actually make her and Nagihiko switch bodies. 

“Rima Mashiro.”

Nagihiko, probably not wanting to be outdone, said his name.  Louder. 

Bitch. 

“Switchy, switchy cocoa what, switchy, switchy yeah,” Yaya said, one final time. 

Then, in the blink of an eye, she pulled out two pairs of kiddie scissors and handed one to her and the other to Nagihiko.  “‘Kay, Amu and I are gonna get a snack, have fun cutting yourselves loose byyyyyye,” she said, pulling Amu out. 

“I love you!” Amu shouted, in their general direction before slamming her bedroom door closed.

“What… the fuck,” Rima said. 

“Yeah,” Nagihiko replied, after a couple beats of silence.  “Let’s cut ourselves loose, I guess?” 

“Whatever,” Rima rolled her eyes, before starting to hack at the rope with her scissors.  Nagihiko, the fucking show off, managed to cut through the rope first and untied them. 

Rima glared at him and stood from her throne.  

“I think the words you’re looking for are “you’re welcome,”” he provided, helpfully. 

“This isn’t fucking Moana,” Rima told him, making her way to the door.  Which was, of course, locked. Wonderful. 

Rima considered kicking the door but didn’t want to actually break it down or anything.  Yeah, she was annoyed but she knew better than to damage her best friend’s property, traitor or no.  Oh well, only one thing to do.

“This is your fault,” Rima whispered, whirling around.  

“How?” Nagihiko asked.  

“Yeah.” 

Nagihiko snorted.  “Well, either way, it looks like they’re not letting us out until we play nice and become friends,” he said, showing her his phone screen.  

 

**yaya wtf**

:) 

**let us out dude** **  
** r y’all friends yet 

**i …**

**no i don’t think so?**

then I can’t unlock it sorry :( 

 

“Easy,” Rima said, coming up with an instant solution “tell her we’re best friends.  We bonded over our mutual anger at being locked in a room with someone we have no interest of befriend-” she cut off, blinking in confusion at her sudden dizziness.  “I… don’t feel so good,” she said, closing her eyes. 

 

Beside her, Nagihiko groaned.  “Kin,” he muttered, before falling to the floor.  

 

“What the shit?” Rima said, lifting her foot to poke at him, when she joined him on the floor.  Her last coherent thought was something about how Nagihiko’s hair was quite soft and smelled good, before passing the fuck out. 

 

\-----

 

Across the hall, Yaya and Amu heard two loud thumps.  They eyed each other nervously, unsure of whether or not this was a logical ruse to get the door unlocked.  The silence, from the room seemed ominous. 

 

“Shhhould we…” Yaya asked, trailing off, gesturing to the door.  

 

“Yeah…” Amu said.  “But you go first,” she pushed Yaya towards the door.  “It was your idea and also I don’t wanna get murdered.”  

 

\-----

 

Rima opened her eyes and sat up.  She still felt a little nauseated and the room was spinning a little.  

 

“Ah, Nagi!  You’re awake!” Yaya said.  “I’m sorry about that whole thing, I guess the scented candles were too much for you and Rima in that room, even if they weren’t lit.  Here, have a drink of water, it’ll help.” Yaya must be talked to both of them, Rima thought, since she handed a glass of water to her too.  “We can wait for Rima to wake up and if you guys want to get checked out by a doctor.”

“...Rima?” she asked.  She was already awake. 

 

“Mhm,” Yaya hummed, “she’s over there.”  She pointed over to the mat on the floor, where, sure enough, Rima was still passed out. 

 

“Hey, what the  _ fuck? _ ” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at the rate i'm updating, this will probably be finished in like 2068  
> but idk if thats true bc im gay and bad at math

**Author's Note:**

> y'all.....................................


End file.
